You know when I lay alone at night unable to sleep I’ve got nothing but time to think. To think about everything! The good, the bad and the random. And the sad thing about my life is there isn’t much good to think about. It’s mostly just bad.
I didn’t cut myself in an attempt to kill myself! I cut myself cause in the moment it felt like the only thing to make me feel better.
No one understands and no one will ever understand and I don’t blame them cause honestly sometimes I don’t understand.
All I know is pain.
This constant pain that lives in my heart, in my mind, in my life!
And when I lay alone at night thinking, thinking about the good, thinking about the bad.
The conclusion that I end up at is that, I will never be happy. That I don’t deserve happiness!
That I’m destined watch those around me be happy but I’ll never obtain that happiness.
Now if you ask me that’s a heavy thought to wake up with! But I do!
I wake up!
And I wake up, I put a smile on my face and carry on.